“Sharks in Your Backyard: Ocean Predators in the Bay, the River, and Other Places You Wouldn’t Expect Them” by Chuck Bangley
Summary: Sharks (and their close relatives, the rays) are expected to be creatures of the open ocean, or even the shallow water right off the beach. However, you don’t need to live by the sea to find sharks close to home. You’ll be introduced to some of the sharks and rays that live inside the Chesapeake Bay, up the Potomac River, and other unexpected places around the world, including some that can spend time outside the water entirely. We’ll figure out which species might even be in the waters of DC itself, why it’s actually a good thing if they’re there, and what you can do to coexist peacefully with the sharks in your backyard.
Bio: Chuck Bangley has been fascinated by sharks and the ocean in general for as long as he can remember. He grew up and developed an appreciation for calamari in Rhode Island, earned his graduate degrees and developed an appreciation for craft beer in North Carolina, and currently works at the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center and is developing a borderline addiction to oysters in Maryland. His current research is focused on migratory behavior and habitat use in Atlantic coast sharks and rays. When given a guitar Chuck can play a mean cover of the theme song from “Sharknado 4,” among other things.
“I Don’t Always Wear A Shirt, but… Actually, I Never Wear A Shirt: The Story of Smokey, the Most Interesting Bear in the World.” by Ashley Warriner
Summary: You might not be able to tell from looking at him, but Smokey Bear just turned 75 years young. And what a wild ride those 75 years have been! I’ll take you down memory lane with Smokey Bear, sharing some little-known trivia along the way (he almost wasn’t a bear!), and talk about why his message is still so important today.
Bio: Ashley hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but has called DC home since 2008. She is an enthusiastic nature nerd and proud U.S. Forest Service employee. Her friends all agree that her uniform with the green high-waisted mom jeans is Sex Walking.
“A Nice and Accurate explanation On How taking a shit is a matter of National Security” by James Gallagher
Summary: You read the title. Come for a brief overview of where the poopy goes, and what we do with it, an overview of the number of cyber (and physical) attacks sanitation plants experience each year and why they happen, a quick plug to stop flushing sanitary products “flushable” products, and drugs/grease, and demonstration of poop water drinking on stage. Don’t pretend that you weren’t already sold just from the title.
Bio: James is a huge book nerd, single dad of three,and lives in a log cabin in the woods with a beat up pickup and a hound dog. He owns more old shit than anyone my age has a right to, three degrees, 13 years in the Marines, and he “still don’t know a fucking thing.”